Birthdays, Bad Jokes, And Older Women

Hey guys, Dimeswag here. Welcome back. Welcome back to my pathetic laughable life. So there has been and will be some birthdays. five to be exact, three of my friends, my sister and then... "Hers" being part of them... It was today actually. And I realized that she is older than me. Only by three months. Is that bad? Is it good? I still dony understand. If she is younger does that make me a pedophile? If she is older does that make me a pervert? NO! whenever I mention her its always like... "Ohhh so you want to have #@$ with her?" "you want her to give you a &%# dance?" I swear its not like that? NOTHING like that. She isn't that sexual appealing. She doesn't have Big boobs, big #@$, and all the like. I am not sick like that... She is cute and pretty. Not a slut. I really get angry when people suggest that. Its not funny, amusing, whatever the hell you want to call it, just stop, you know who you are. Ok so back to her birthday. I am not going to twpp how old she is (obviously) but she is only three months the older than me. Compared to my old drama teacher which was 9 years 7months 23 days older than her husband, which is stretching it a little in my opinion. He was six feet... She was barely 4. Just like "her" which I think is cute. (in case you haven't noticed "her" is my crush) I like nice hair and small height. That's what sells it for me. It still occurs to me that i haven't said happy birthday to her personally. Actually i don't even think she would have remembered after ten minutes. Switching topics on a happier note. At the end of the day we all sat in the room and talked to the teacher (all being me my two friends and "her") we started cracking CLEAN jokes mainly her. I even remember all of them. One went like this... "what do you call a person who doesn't fart in public? A private tutor", "how does an octopus go to war? Armed", and how many tickles does it take to make an octupus laugh? Ten-tickles" I thought it was cute. I made a joke like... "the past, present, and futer walk into a bar... It was tense" the teacher found mine more amusing than hers but watching "her crack up at her own jokes... It was funny, and cute :3 and she was rambling on about alot of different things like fried chicken and other random stuff. It was her birthday, I don't blame her for letting loose. Everything she does is cute <3
-Love Dimeswag (No Homo)

...

(Mmmmm...

I was reading the new book in the Percy Jackson Series, you know, the heroes of olympus one. I found out *spoiler alert* that Nico was gay. I was pleasantly surprised at this apectacular plot twist and i must say, idid not expect Rick had the balls to do something like this. Given the time he was writing this i'm glad he boldly portrayed his view during the "legalize gay marriage" spike. Love the way he led up to this, too. This is a wonderful example of how a great writer makes their story move, and I think more writers should bring up things like this in their works as well.)

3 Am.

This is another middle-school-perspective post so if you didn't take kindly to the last one.

Yup.

Excuse any grammar or vocabulary misusage as it is three in the morning just after finishing a set of homework and earlier today I was thinking, so I kind of saved it for now.

Well of course in these posts I have to give you background information before I explain my theory.

Our school began to give us students quarterly assessments this year, and to most people, in their opinion the tests were designed to make us fail. Well here's the plot twist. There's always this wingnut that makes everyone look bad.

Here is the real background statistics.
Average for math, 50 - 65 range.
Average for history 40 - 65 range.
Average for science pre 20 - 65.

Now, let it first be known that I don't study for any standardized test, or almost anything in that matter. But frankly I happened to score almost 10 - 30 % higher than my gifted and advanced class counterparts when I'm taking the same classes as them. My scores were 100 in math (highest heard of) 80 in history (highest heard of) and ~82 in science, (teacher confirmed highest grade so far.)

Here's the theory part. The key to taking tests is test taking strategies correct? Well to be honest, the real factor and actual represented outcome is determined by your mindset. "Am I ready to take this test?" Well common sense probably tells you the ones who study and know the material inside and out will do the best, this assumption is bull-shit.

Let's pretend I did actually study for these tests like how a real A student should. Lets say I was the most confident person in the world and I thought I knew what I was doing. That doesn't mean buckets, I could mark all the wrong answers that seem right all because of my ego. Common misconceptions include that people who don't prepare won't "do too hot," people who study and smart people will score high. For a fact we all know this is false, smart people do have that occasional C on exams and end up beating themselves up over it.

The reason these assumptions are unrealistic is that people forget they are taking a test and limit their answers on the test to what they've studied. Never do this, ever.

The real mindset one should have when taking a test is not whether it is fair or reasonable. The mindset should be "whatever I had done to prepare is done, I can't change what I did anymore. No sense in regretting it." "I will do what I can and accept that this test will evaluate what I really know, therefore I must do what I can to score my highest." The reason this mindset is ideal is that frankly if you are following this mindset all nervousness should be gone, this means any extra emotions blocking your logical tract of thought is nonexistent. This allows your mind to use the extra emotions of "oh I'm gonna do gr8!!" Or "sh1t y didn't I study this instead of..." To turn your regretful mind into one flourishing with logical answers to the trivial texts provided.

So what I'm saying is, if you really want to perform your best on standardized tests, be as modest as possible, don't think cocky, and do your best / believe you will do your best. When the moment comes when those questions pop out of the cart it doesn't matter what happened before hand, you have to accept you can't change it anymore and that your results are based upon your actions, and you deserve your retuned grade. Never underestimate the power of the written text.

Signed Andrew, the overconfident.
For real, test taking strategies will save your life.

Band

Hey guys, Dimeswag here. Yup, band. I am in my band program. So this is the first bad ever at my school and I though hey why not give it a shot. I decided on playing the trumpet. Oh the first day we were going over days we would practice and routines. Many people said what instrument they play or would like to play... Almost half of them were trumpets. And there was like only 12 people in there. One flute two trombones and one saxophone. Then I changed my mind on what I wanted to play. Trombone please. A flute isn't for me and a saxophone is way too intense. I went to pick up my trombone and they only had one left.and lucky for me it was brand new. Untouched by human hands. I bring it home and put it together (1 hour later) I pit the mouth piece in and blow... It sounded like a shart, a wet nasty shart that came out of Jabba the hut. I blew in it some more and finally got three different different notes. I was harder that I thought. Not I wait until my first band practice were we have instruments and stuff... Lets see how it goes...
-Love Dimeswag . (No Homo)

I dont think so

Hey guys, Dimeswag here. So here might be my last post about this "girl". I don't know. I plan on going ice skating with a group of friends (including her) so that I can get her alone and tell her how I feel. I am not sure it's the right choice though. I don't think she likes me. She never talks to me, never replies to anything I say, no input, just a whole lot of reject. She never started a conversation with me. Never said hi. Its not that she is shy, I am sure of that. If she was shy she would be trying to spend time with me at a distance. Putting her group conveniently where I am, not at all. Sometimes when I try to get closer she ends up moving away, I don't think she is trying to be rude or anything but it never ends on a happy note. Shy girls don't run away from their crush. Which is why I am not her crush obviously. I try to let her know I am there but she ignores me or switches targets to one of her friends or one of mine. (scrawny white kid or athletic smart asian) I am not a body builder, nor am I as smart as them but I am not skinny and whiter than sour cream or smart and athletic ( who knew that that could happen) but I can still punch a few teeth out and solve some math. Nevertheless she just plain ignores me. I say hi and then she says hi, but also looks away with a "why are you talking to me, when is this (2 second) conversation end!" Sometimes I get really mad when she ignores me, it pissed me off sometimes. I was at lunch and I make an excuse to get something from the lunch line... A spork. I try to engage a conversation with her but her friends catch on. I try to help them carry stuff to their table. Her friends say yeah sure but she says no... Frankly, I don't give a sh*t about your friends at the moment and you say no... So now I am stuck carrying their lunch but you decide to go solo. Let me carry your lunch to the table, please. I just want to be nice to her. I feel a bit protective of her sometimes. Even though she doesn't care. I bet she forgets my name sometimes. I am really mad at her because I am pretty sure she doesn't like me and and is doing a good job of showing it. I even got a manila folder and tapped her head (lightly) like "Wake up, I am right here!" it was crowded so she would think it was accidental but she replied "well that was rude". When she said that I felt that she hated me or something. I still like her don't get me wrong. I think I might tell her how I feel but I am sure that won't change her mind about the way she feels about me. 
-Love Dimeswag (No Homo)

Can i get a rain check?

Hey guys, Dimeswag here. Monday was boring as hell. Same as always. School after a long awaited weekend being over. Mondays are not always the most auspicious day of the week but most of us manage to get by. Anyways at school my friend AKA this "girl" was absent on Monday. At the end if the day we took notes that I knew she would need the next day. I thought about her so I decided to write in my very best handwriting (which looks like sh*t by the way) I had doubts that she would
think it was bad, but she needed the notes and I sure as hell wasn't letting someone else giving her notes, if it wasn't me then it was nobody. I wanted to make sure it was me handing her the notes. And after that school day was over after made sure nothing happened to her paper. I should have used a sheet protector now that I think about it. Today (Tuesday) i wait until the right time to hand it to her, untillnthere is time for us to have a conversation that didn't consist of "here are the notes you missed yesterday". I handed them to her during math. We didn't do much in math (not that I remember :P) so here comes the fun part. I hand it to her and say " here are the notes you missed yesterday". Then I turned around and face-palmed with with my head down low. I am dumb. After that disappointment I remembers that me and my friends had plans to go ice skating later that day and my friend (who is acquainted with her) was supposed to ask her if she would go. He never did. No one ever did end up going, we cancled it. I had plans and things I was going to do. I was going to wait until we were all together then I was going to ask her to skate around a lap with our arms locked, and talk about (insert topic here). Maybe build up a mutual relationship with her. Nothing too serious. I was looking forward to it. But there was a chance she would have said no, or something like "naw I'll just stay here for a while". Maybe if I was lucky we would hold hands if she didn't know how to skate. but so far that hasn't happened yet. TBA. It will probably never happen, but maybe that's just me and my hoplessness talking.
-Love Dimeswag (No Homo)

...

(Quiet, here.

I think it' cute when guys nod their heads and say "I understand" whenever someone tells them their problems. They're all the same, except for the ones you have no point in talking to. It's so stupid, a girl just wants comfort but they get a bozo who either doesn't care or doesn't know how to react.

I like them clueless, it makes them so easy to control. But of course I would never do that, it's just mean. Besides, they aren't even worth it anyway. I you want something done right, might as well do it yourself.)

I am ready to give up

Hey guys, Dimeswag here.

Pain without love
Pain I cant get enough
Pain I like it rough
C'ause i'd rather feel pain that nothing at all
-Three Days Grace

You know that feeling when you want to know something really bad but you never know.
Yeah I am feeling that. when you like someone right? you want to know how they feel about you, you want them to like you back right? what if they don't. would you rather know that they don't like you at all. Or do you rather let them not even acknowledge you as a being. any feeling is better than none right? people think suicide if a ticket out of their misery but surviving is better that outright killing yourself and ending it... Game Over. Being alive is the greatest feeling ever. No matter what the situation, good or bad, life is always worth living. But is nothing at all better than misery and pain? No. Life is about love and hate. You can't have love without hate. What happened if you don't have either? My situation is that; you know that girl right? Of course you do :-/ well she thinks I am invisible. Nothing new right? Well I want to tell her I like her but I don't know how. I would say it and it would be irrelevant anyways because she barely knows I am here. Anyways she has had a lot of people like her. About 4/6 of them told her. She never forgets them, assuming whether she likes them or not (so I am told). The thing is i don't want he part of that collective group. Its like a closet. The more cluttered it is the less you can see what is in the closet. Its been 3 years for me and I haven't said a word. She is the type of person that guys are compelled to tell her they like her right off the bat. I have kept my mouth shut for three years. All I want to know is how she feels about me. I could care less if she doesn't like me. I could care less if she thinks I am weird, ugly, or even if she hates me. I just want her to know who I am. I want to feel her presence, in one form of another. I swear I never meant to let it die, but it was never alive in the first place. I still have a chance but I know the outcome. Knowing what will happen before it does is a scary feeling. Predicting what is uncertain is a curse. I am sure she will turn me down if I tell her how I feel. I am hopeless, over the edge, I'm just breathless. I'd never though that I'd feel such uncertainty in my head. All I want is for her to know who I am
- Love Dimeswag (NoHomo)

*yawn*

(Quiet's Back. Sorry for not posting, just waiting for the others to wake up. Interesting recent activity, might as well start back up again ^_^)

I am too slow

Hey guys, Dimeswag here. I am a slow thinker. I am not going to lie, I really am slower than a sloth with Alzheimers. It takes me 30 minutes to finish four math problems. I often find myself often in a haze staring off into the distant. I am constaintly distracted in some way, shape, or form. I never get any work done on time. When I took my test for gifted even the results said I was slow. I had a slow reaction time between my brain giving me ideas and my mouth potraying them out. I am smart as heck don't get me wrong but I always  depict myself as a lesser of the group. The only think I have that a minority of us has is common sense. Sometimes I think to myself "Why are you!?!?... Never mind"  I tend to ignore stupid mistakes unless it involves me. I was also gifted in gue way that I talk to others. The way I explain ideas and concepts. I am not gifted in social talking to people at all. When I talk go someone the conversation lasts no more than a few seconds and it's usually a question. For example. When I talk to "her" I always have nothing to say, no ideas on how to carry on the conversation. The only reason holding me back is that I am not able to have a conversation with her because I always lack a topic to talk about. I never know what to say to a girl like that. Anyways, I am not only mental slow, I was beat to the punch. I think. This girl (again) hangs around two guys I noticed (they hang around her I should say) and one of them is friendly.with her, like the pokey petting type of friendly but more rough. She always turned him away but in a polite way but inside I know she doesn't like him. But then there is this other guy... Football player. He gets a even closer. He sits right beside her, like squished together when there is plenty of room. The worst part (for me) is that it doesn't bother her as much as the first guy. If anything she embraces it. They walk and talk together. It bugs me. This is where the little green mister kicks in. I never get any satisfaction from her, not even a "thank you" or a replied "morning" when I say good morning. Like I don't exist. Never says my name. Never mentions me. Nothing. But lately she has been talking to me... Not much but it's because I perpously.pit myself around her hoping I find something to talk about but it never does because I am just too slow.
Love - Dimeswag (No Homo)

The "Interested" Theory.

Hello. So today in the shower I was thinking and that led me to post this discussion. So recently I have come up with the ODDEST theory and probably one of the most inconspicuous way to tell if someone is "interested." Hence the title.

So at school I've noticed I'm one of the touchiest people you will ever meet. (By touchiest I mean I couldn't care less about who you were I will physically burst your personal space bubble whether you like it or not.) Of course even though I don't particularly care about physical contact with another person, I recognize most do so I avoid touching people un necessarily, I set boundaries. Even though I "check myself" people tend to know I am a touchy person.

Through this I have developed one of the most hidden form of reading someone's bias towards a certain person. (Does she like me...?)

This is done through physical contact.
This is also where the middle school life kicks into the blog.

The theory states that if someone is interested in being "with you." They tend to mind physical contact a lot less.

How this can be tested is questionably unreasonable, but the accuracy this test provides is interesting. If you think you understand what I mean you can stop reading here, but don't dismiss this simply because it sounds foolish.

First we need to understand a few things.

Warning, this tends to fail for the female gender tester and produces less accurate "results."

You must create a social bias towards you if you really wish to test this theory. First you must have your surrounding peers or a select group of peers begin to think you are a very playful-mellow kind of person regardless of your previous social standing. In other words you could be the kind of person that could hug somebody's arm who may or may not be a complete stranger and get away with it without a second thought. So the surrounding group could think "oh he's just being a typical (insert-name)" and just laugh it off. You also need 2 people with similar personalities, one of which must be the one you have a crush on. Chances are, if they have similar personalities they will be in or associates with the same clique. If they are you're in luck, it makes the next step easier. You have to somewhat befriend that clique, and you have to set your bias straight with them indirectly.

After you've established these foundations the next few steps are to be done, using careful consideration to assume when it is most appropriate to enact the next. With the person that you don't crush on, the similar personality one, you have to begin messing with them physically whether it be poking them repeatedly or rubbing your shoulder against them or even "petting" them. Keep doing this until their body language begins to suggest they are beginning to withdraw / question why you keep doing so. Keep note on their reactions to what you do and how long it takes to piss them off (not literally). Do this to the person you crush later and then observe how they react.

The way they react will should be fairly similar to your first test subjects but it should not be exactly the same. If it is, game over, you've pisser her off and you know she isn't interested. But good signs to look and hope for are things like poking you back, playing along and matching your playfulness. If they do so then you may proceed to the next step, repetitiveness.

We all know when something goes on over and over like maybe an alarm it begins to annoy you, like when someone keeps reminding you to do chores or something like that. We are going to apply the same reasoning to this experiment. This is where it might start to get awkward. You have to play this "game" for a while. You have to repeatedly continue to physically do something like poke her until you think its gotten annoying to her, not when she says it has or shown it, but once you know she should be annoyed by this point. This is the part where you find your answer. If she surpasses your tolerance point she might be interested, if she reacts like the first person you tried this on it usually means she's not that interested, but she is a playful person to be around. Use logical reasons before drawing conclusions

The reasoning behind this is that while secretly testing if someone is interested, in their mind they are just assuming you are just acting normal but in reality you are putting on a disguise to gather inside information. Obviously if someone is more interested in you than others they will tend to tolerate more physical annoyance and since that is a very odd way to approach someone, the last thing they'd expect is you learning about them and how they think with every motion.

After reading that.

We should all know. That this is a theory created on the spot and of course you're listening to a middle schooler. Its common knowledge that there is no need for this social science nonsense to find if your dream girl wants your hand to the dance. So to you guys, just talk to her, become her friend, and if she really thinks she wants something more, there will be, something more. Besides, if you never try you can never succeed, so go win her heart. Don't try to manipulate her.

Its been another Mushroom moment.
Mushroom, out~

          -Andrew

Flirting?

Hey guys, Dimeswag here. Flirting? I don't get it. Someone please help me. I was told by a friend of mine that if I wanted something I need to flirt with it. Like a girl, a cheese burger, or maybe even a car. But I don't know how to. I never know anything to say to girls (especially this one). When it comes to this one i just say "hi" ya'know, that's it. I want to talk more  and have a vonversation with her, but I never know the right thing to say. I don't even know what flirting is. All I know is that guys or girls just shower compliments on the other person. Saying anything from your hair looks nice today, nice (idk) shoes?, or DAYUM gurl U got some nasty *** *******. I see more of the nasty *** *****. So whenever I hear the word flirting think it's rude. I say you have nice hair today or nice shoes to my friends not someone I like... Well maybe, I give compliments to be friendly not to hook up with them. I dont understand the concept. I feel if i say you have nice hair to her then it will be awkward because in her head i am sure she is thinking (that was random). In my opinion i feel it's not a necessity to flirt. Maybe to compliment but not flirt. I want to give her some space instead of being all over her with compliments like I am desperate. Please clear up the concept of flirting for me and post in the comments what you think flirting is.
- Love Dimeswag (No Homo)

Did you miss me?

Hey guys, Dimeswag here. First off lets me apologize about my lack of posts the past few weeks. I was sick for the past two weeks with a bad cough, although I did still go to school I tried to contain my coughs. It was bad. I felt like the annoying kid in the back of class who is constantly sniffing and coughing and you want to tell them to shut the hell up but you know you still feel bad for them. All I was trying to do was maintain my perfect Attendance. So I am sure your probably thinking "what about that girl you always talk about huh?" honestly... I really think you guys could care less but I am going to talk about her anyways. Today was the first day in a long time i actually talked to her for more than 5 seconds. The best part was that she got my attention. I was clueless to who she was talking to until my friend (the guy who told her at the beginning) said "hey, your future girlfriend is calling you". I swear that he is the dumbest person ever. but I then turned around noticing who was calling me... :) she asked me what high school I was going to and when I replied with an answer she dissimilar to her's she began to sadden. Not too bad, just enough to know she was at least a "tad" disappointed. It made me happy to hear her talking directed to me. Her soft voice followed by her (once again) cute crooked smile. But before and after... My friend was blowing up balloons and making the loudest, most obnoxious squeaking noise ever. It didn't bother me too much knowing that he was naturally stupid and doesn't know what to do with himself (I am only kidding) but I did notice it was bothering "her". I got so pissed at him. I didn't want her to be annoyed, especially by one of my friends. So in turn, I took the balloon and ripped it in in half. I warned him. She is really cute when she is mad though :3 I was upset because I noticed in 5th period, math she came in the classroom with a sad look on her face and tears in her eyes. From my understanding she went to the bathroom to cry instead of just in the classroom which is respected. I have seen so many girls (and guys) cry in class and its unattractive. *A tip for the girls out there; don't cry in class, cry somewhere else and guys (hopefully the one you like) will be worried about you and will want to talk to you. will that is the best way i can describe the situation, if you have any better ways of explaining it or more tips feel free to post in the comments. Anyways that's it for me.
-Love Dimeswag (No Homo)